You've heard it a million times — twins mean double the trouble and double the fun. (Parents of triplets and other multiples can change the numbers accordingly!) But it's hard to remember the fun part when you're struggling to get your crying babies to go to sleep and stay that way. Twins and multiples sleep experts Rebecca Moskwinski, M.D., of the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs and Alexander Golbin, Ph.D., director of the Foundation for Children's Sleep Disorders, share their best strategies and tips.
Here are their top suggestions:
-
Put your babies to sleep at the same time
-
Establish a calming bedtime routine
-
Swaddle your babies
-
Put your little ones to bed drowsy, but not asleep
-
Put your babies to sleep in the same crib
-
Tend to your calm baby first
-
Accept that multiples sleep through the night when they're ready
-
Discourage night-time waking
-
During the day, give your babies plenty of touching, holding, rocking, and sucking
-
Don't let colic bring you down
Put your babies to sleep at the same time
Keeping your babies on the same sleep schedule is the key to developing a healthy sleep pattern and giving you some hope of time off. If your babies nap or go to bed at different times, one or both of them may be awake at any given time — leaving you feeling overwhelmed.
Establish a calming bedtime routine
A quiet, soothing bedtime routine such as a warm bath, a bedtime story, and a few minutes of cuddling, back rubbing, and quiet talk will help you prepare your babies for sleep. If you stick to a consistent bedtime routine, your babies will soon learn the signal that it's time to settle down.
Swaddle your babies
The age-old custom of swaddling, or snuggly wrapping each of your babies in a light blanket, may help them feel safe, secure, and ready for sleep. Don't just stick to blankets: You can swaddle your babies in a T-shirt or a pajama top you've just worn so they feel your warmth and smell the scent of your body.
Put your little ones to bed drowsy, but not asleep
Help them learn to fall asleep on their own by letting them drift off once they're in bed, rather than just before you put them down to sleep. Moskwinski doesn't recommend rocking your babies to sleep once they're past the newborn stage, since they may come to depend on that cue to fall asleep. When your babies weigh enough to do away with the nighttime feeding, Moskwinski suggests using Richard Ferber's gradual method to teach them to get to sleep by themselves.
Put your babies to sleep in the same crib
Babies are comforted by touching each other, and close physical contact calms them. They'll crawl to each other, wrap themselves around each other, and even suck on each other's hands. How long should they sleep together? There's no right or wrong answer, but up to 3 months of age is a good gauge. When you put them in separate cribs, be sure they can still see each other.
Tend to your calm baby first
If one is a screamer and the other is calmer, you may be tempted to tend to your wailing baby first. Golbin strongly advises against this. The danger, he explains, is that your quiet baby will miss out on the attention she needs. Before you focus on the screamer, make sure your quiet one is happy and settled. Don't worry about one baby waking up the other: Most twins and multiples don't seem bothered by their sibling's crying, even when they're in the same crib.
Accept that multiples sleep through the night when they're ready
Moskwinski says a sleep schedule often depends on your babies' weight, not their age. Identical twins tend to sleep through at almost identical ages. Fraternal twins' sleep patterns may be more independent, especially if they're very different in size or temperament. Here's a sleep-saving tip: As soon as one baby cries to be fed, wake the other one up, too.
Discourage night-time waking
You can do this by keeping your babies as calm and quiet at night as possible, even during feedings. Keep their room dimly lit, and don't handle them during the night more than necessary. Feed them and put them right back to bed. This helps them learn that nighttime is for sleeping. If your babies are 12 months or older and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is no longer a risk, you can encourage self-soothing by giving them a special soft toy or blanket to sleep with. These "transitional objects" are comforting and can help them go back to sleep.
During the day, give your babies plenty of touching, holding, rocking, and sucking
Don't be afraid to "spoil" your babies by overdoing it in any of these areas during wake time. A pacifier is fine if you think it will help satisfy their need to suck. Golbin says that fathers, with their big hands and strong, gentle touch, can often calm screaming babies more easily than mothers. Go to them, dad!
Don't let colic bring you down
Colic is a pattern of crying that usually happens in the late afternoon or evening, for no apparent reason. Try every calming technique you can think of: warm baths, massage, swaddling, listening to soothing music, carrying your babies in slings, putting them in rocker seats, or any combination of these strategies. Ask your family and friends or hire someone to help you so you can get a break from what may seem like never-ending wails. Remember, most babies outgrow colic by 3 months, so hang in there!
Click here for more information on Swaddling, Colic, Baby Tired signs and other newborn sleep resources