One of the most common sleep problems we encounter is early waking...... Mums and dads just don't want to get woken up at 5.30am every day!
Elizabeth Pantley (author of the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers) says in her article on our website, some children really are larks and will always wake earlier than you would like. But many toddlers wake from habit and from parents inadvertently reinforcing the early waking....by letting the child in for a cuddle, making them a bottle etc etc.
So before you decide your toddler's early waking can not be changed and you are in for years of 5am wake-ups, we believe there are a number of things that can make a huge difference. And like any habits, the quicker you start to tackle them, the better.
Realistic expectations
First have a look at how much sleep you expect your child to have. We recently had a customer who was putting her children to bed at 5pm and wanted them to sleep in until 7am.....just not going to happen, as the children had already had 12 hours sleep when they woke at 5am!
7pm bedtime is ideal for children up to age 5.
Routine
Stick to the same bedtime and get up time every day, regardless of weekends and holidays. Your aim is to set your child's body clock to sleep in longer, so avoid messing with the body clock by changing your times.
Aim for a 7pm bedtime, so your child isn't getting over-tired in the evening. This gives you a goal of getting up between 6.30-7am for babies and toddlers. Children over the age of 4 could go to bed at about 7.30pm.
Also have a look at your toddler's sleep times during the day. If they are still going down for a morning sleep at 9am, then this is going to impact on how early they wake. Try moving the morning sleep back by first 30 mins, then a week later try an hour later. If your toddler is over 18 months, it may be time to drop the morning sleep and move to a sleep at 11.30-12 ish.
Morning time
You decide when morning comes to your house, not your little one. If you think a reasonable start to the day is 6.30am, then ensure that your actions and behaviour consistently demonstrate this to your toddler.
For example, if your toddler currently wakes at 5.30am and comes into your bed...waking you up, then letting him do this reinforces that 5.30am is morning in your house. If you put him back to bed, saying it's still night-time, then this sends a completely different message to your child. By consistently giving the message that 5.30am is still night-time and behaving accordingly, you are both going to treat waking at that time differently.
We recommend that you treat any waking before your designated morning time the same as you would night waking. So if you wouldn't let your toddler out of bed at 2am, then don't do it at 5am!
Check out our Sleep Trainer Clocks
Consistency
As with all sleep changes, consistency is incredibly important when trying to change early waking. As in the above example, you need to put your child back in their own bed every time they come into your bed earlier than your designated morning time. If you sometimes let them come in at 4am or 5am...how do you expect them to learn what you want? Toddlers will always push the boundaries and try to get what they want, but consistently showing them the behaviour you want will eventually get the message through.
Avoid reinforcing the early waking with your actions
Carrying on from above, there are a number of actions that parents take that reinforce early waking in toddlers. Yes it may seem like the easy option and it may seem like it will give you 30-60 mins more peace before the day starts...but if your actions reinforce the early waking, your child will continue to wake early.
Giving toddlers a bottle when they wake early is a common example. Your child wakes at 5am screaming for you, you give them a bottle and he settles back to sleep. Unfortunately now you're awake for the day.....but at least he's still in bed and quiet. But the same thing happens tomorrow and the next day, until you stop the behaviour that reinforces the waking - ie getting up to him and giving him a bottle.
Other common reinforcing behaviours are - letting toddler in your bed, letting toddler get up and play, getting yourself up for the day with your toddler, having breakfast really really early etc.
Mask noises that can make morning come early
There may well be noises in your neighbourhood or house that cause your little one to wake from the light sleep that is common between 5-5.30am. You may not hear these same noises due to the location of your bedroom, that you are in a deeper sleep or may not have the same sensitive hearing that your child has.
Common noises include birds, dogs barking, traffic, other family members getting up, plumbing, neighbours leaving for work etc.
We recommend you use white noise in your child's bedroom to mask any noises that may cause waking in your house. Try this for at least a week to see if it has any effect.
View white noise options.
Ensure your toddler is warm
Waking between 3-5am is often due to the cold, as this is the coolest time of the night. Much early waking has been easily solved by adding an extra layer or two of clothing, or using a warm toddler sleeping bag.
Our merino pyjamas are a good option for children who kick off their bedding and will no longer sleep in a sleeping bag. Plus we have a range of winter sleepsuits, made from merino or fleece.
View our range of toddler winter sleeping bags and suits
Darkness
We recommend using thick black-out lining on your child's curtains, so they can't see what is happening outside. Even if you also use a night-light, using black-out lining keeps the bedroom feeling cosy and 'night-time' even when the sun starts to come up.
We have a range of blackout blinds, some of which are portable.Â
